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When It’s Not Fine: A Letter to People Who Always Puts Others First

By October 9, 2017Support

To the people who always puts others first,

First of all, thank you. There aren’t many people in this world who are like you. You always ask whether or not you can help with anything, you initiate empathy, you let people vent to you even when you are running late and you answer those 3 am SOS texts. You are that go-to person, the “mom” of the friend group that everyone can rely on. 


You catch yourself saying, “It’s fine,” at least a dozen times a day. When the barista messes up your order, “It’s fine”. When someone bumps into you, “It’s fine”. When an aggressive stranger takes your seat on the bus, “It’s fine”. People subconsciously catch onto this, however. 

Like I said, you go out of your way to help others. But it is so easy for “others” to take advantage of this. When you give up your time to help another with their problems, you feel intrinsic joy because you helped someone today and made their life a little bit better.

But what about you?

What about the nap that you skipped out on to attend to someone else? You desperately needed the nap because of your crazy sleep schedule (or lack thereof), but neglecting your needs is second nature. When was the last time someone said, “Hey, I really need you to take care of yourself right now”?

fineSee, this is when it is not “fine”, and you have every right as the selfless being you are to put yourself first. But this is a lot easier said than done. As you attempt to take a nap, you continuously toss and turn, checking every text. Or, whenever you try and do some at-home yoga, you almost always fail at savasana because you can barely close your eyes, be present, and breathe. 

So I’m asking you to do this.

Take care of yourself in order to help those you love. 

As all mothers would say, how are you supposed to take care of others if you yourself are not taken care of? The seemingly selfish act of letting yourself recover and taking care of you can actually be selfless, in the end. So, go and you take that nap, drink that tea, meditate or just close your eyes for 10 minutes and breathe, go to bed early and eat meals by yourself. Those who love you want you to do this.


The people who love you.

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Author Christina Chu

Christina is a Junior at Boston University, majoring in Dietetics and minoring in Communication. She is a tennis instructor at BU, an ACSM CPT, and writes blogs for multiple Registered Dietitians. She can be seen with her headphones in playing one of her Spotify playlists and/or shamelessly taking a picture of everything she eats. You can check her out at @foodietunes on Instagram.

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