Finding confidence can be a long journey, and is something that a lot of people really struggle with. I know I’ve definitely had my ups and downs when it comes to my feelings about myself and the way others perceive me.

I’ll admit that I first got into fitness with the main goal in mind that I wanted to change how I looked. And while that is perfectly okay to do, I think it is even better to know that people love you regardless of your physical appearance—for all the other wonderful things that make you who you are.

If you’re struggling with self esteem and/or confidence, here are a few ideas and tips you can use if you’re feeling low or if you need some reassurance. Know that there is no “one size fits all” solution to gaining confidence, but hopefully these will help! And with them, I want you to know that you are a wonderful, beautiful human being (because you are).

1. Switch your perspective.

Think about someone you really love. Maybe it’s a close friend of yours, or a relative—it can be anyone. Now imagine this person, but with a dramatic change in physical appearance (weight gain, weight loss, three heads, etc.). Would you still love them the same amount, even though they looked physically different? The answer is yes. If you’re having a low day, or you feel like you are not looking the way you want to, just make sure you know that the people who love you will love you regardless. It’s true.

2. Shake it off.

The main idea here is that what others think of your appearance DOES NOT MATTER. Now, I know how hard this can be to accept. I’ve had instances where someone has insulted me about my appearance and I can’t stop thinking about the insult for days, or even months or years. Maybe I am just a “Sensitive Suzy”, but insults definitely get to me sometimes. Now, though, I like to think I have gotten to a point where I just don’t care. You hate my outfit? Fine. You think muscle makes girls look manly? Well, too bad. I think about it this way: if someone has a negative thought about the way I look, does it hurt me physically or ruin my life in any way? No. The thought does nothing. Don’t let someone ruin your confidence. It’s not worth it.

3. Find things that make you feel confident, and go do them.

If you want to get a new outfit, go get one. If you want to go work out, do that. If you listen to Beyoncé, go listen to Beyoncé! Nothing is better than doing something for yourself so you can continue to feel good about yourself.

The last thing I want to mention is that everyone on this earth has something good inside of him or her. Even that person you think you hate has something to offer. Seeing the best in people is sometimes hard to do. But what’s even harder is seeing the good inside of yourself. You as a human being have so much more to offer than just the way you look. If you think about every good quality you possess and what you have to share with the world, physical appearance will start to seem less and less important. Try it out, you’ll see.

Check out these articles too:

Motivation & Self Love: A Struggle That’s Worth It
I Run A Health & Fitness Company And I’m A Fraud
An Open Letter To All Girls: Do It For You
6 Things You Can Still Do (Without Having A Perfect Body)